Lankapati logging in…

Baat kuch 2004 ya 2005 ki rahi hogi. Tab Lankapati young the”, SORRY bhaiya ab bhi young hain. Sorry, sorry sorry. Bhaiya tab bhi young rehna chahte the.

Young rehne mein kafi challenges the. Bhaiya ko ek to fit rehne ke liye GYM jane ka dhong karna padta tha. Matlab bhaiya gym jate they, par mehnat karne mein kasht hota tha. Phir youngsters ke hi tareeke se bhaiya ko kapde latte, filmein, aur khan paan ka dhyan rakhna padta tha. Takreeban 2009 mein bhaiya ko iska English shabd pata chala “Updated”. Aise naye shabd sunte hi bhaiya ko bada chanchal mehsoos hota tha.

Isi tarah filmi duniya ki khabarein. BALLYWOOD. Kaun si nayi heroin kya kar rahi hai, aur kiske saath fun karna chahti hai. Kaun se naye drugs aur porn mms market mein hain. Bhaiya ko jaldi hi smaajh mein aa gaya tha ki Bachchan aur Rekha ke kisse ab basi ho gaye hain. Ab naye chikne laundo ki GASSIP pakadni padegi. Rajneeti mein aaj kal kisko gali dene ka fashion hai. Naye channelon par kya chal raha hai. Aur kaun sa English gana aaj ke baachche sun rahe hain. Angrezi sangeet mein kathin angrezi shabon ka prayog karne walon se lankapati ko khaas nafrat thi. Ek to unke bol samajh mein nahi aate the aur phir aise cheekh cheekh ke gane ko lankapati sangeet nahi mante the.

In sabhi vishyon par jankari jutate jutate lankapati trast the. Wo bahut sehajta se ye mante the ki unko kasht jhelna padega. Itni museebat pehla hi thi ki ab sunte hain “Facebook” karke kuch hai. Lankapati ne ye shabd kai baar bachchon ke mooh se suna tha. Pehla to wo samajh nahi paye, ki ye hai kya. Phir unhone aisa anuman lagaya ki ye kisi videshi college ka naam hai, jaha kuch fancy course karaye jate hain. Is anuman ke saath hi lankapati ek baar phir santust ho gaye, ki ye unke matlab ki cheese nahi hai. 

Phir yakayak, shayad 2005 june Ka mahina tha, bhaiya ko har aadmi poochne laga “ are u on facebook”.  Gajab to tab ho gaya jab 21 varsh ki ek kassi hui bala ne unse ye pooch liya. Mujhe to aaj bhi wo din yaad hai. Bhaiya apni mausa-foofa(BIKE) pe sawar kisis toofan ki tarah, mere ghar aaye. Dum dum kar seedhiyan chadne se phoolti hui saans mein hi unhone awaaz lagayi. Maine darwaja khola to laga bhaiya ko dil ka daura pad gaya hai. Bhaiya bahut dare dare se lag rahe the. Unhone turant mujhse poocha ye “facebook, Facebook kya hai, ye facebook facebook”?

Aise to main aksar bahana kar ke unki baat taal deta tha, aur unhe ye aashwasan deta tha ki pata kar ke unke charno mein jankari bina kisi vilabh ke pesh karronga. Baat ye nahi thi ki mujhe pata nahi hota tha. Darsal asi jankariyan turant de dene se bhaiya naraaz aur rusht ho jate the. Bhaiya ko aisa lagta tha ki maine sab seekh liya aur unhe nahi bataya.  Par iss baar matter gambhiir tha. Maine bhaiya ko samjhnae ke liye saral shabdon ka prayaog kiya.

“bhaiya Facebook ek social networking site hai, isme apki waal hoti hai, jaise aap maniye aapka karma. Aap kya kar rahe hain, kya karna chahte hain, kisse mil rahe hain. Is prakaar ki jankari rehti hai. Ye sab internet ke mayajaal se hota hai.”

Bhayiya ko to mano saap sungh gaya ho. Darsal baat aisi hai ki computer se bhaiya ko kafi ghabrahat rehti thi. Jab pehla baar unhone iske bare mein san 91 mein suna tha, tab wo 20 ke rahe honge.

 1991

Hua yu, Ki Unke parivaar ka koi balak “Charles Babbage” namak kisi shaqs ki baat kar raha tha. Bhaiya ne turant use videshi ghuspathiya karaar de diya. Phir bahut logo ne bahut darte darte bhaiya ko samjhaya, ki computer namak ek machine ka invention inhone kiya hai. Bhaiya bole are machine to humare yahaan bhi bahut bani hain.

Log bhi to mante nahi hain, unhone bhaiya ko samjhaya ki ye koi mamooli machine nahi hai. Ye bahut kathin math ke calculations secondon mein kar leti hai. Bhaiya ke pran moo mein aa gaye. Bhaiya ko laga ye purana rakshas (Math)phir ek baar saar utha raha hai. Ab to uske sehyogi bhi aa gaye hai. Math se bachcpan se hi bhaiya ko nafrat thi. Number se bhaiya khoob chithte the. Jab bahas bahut gehri ho jati thi to bhaiya keh dete the ki jiro aur dashamlav deke humare yahaan ke laundon ne bahut pehla hi is kala mein jhande gaade hain. Ab hum logo ko isse kya lena. Hum to jeevan ka vigyan aur samaaj ka chintan karte hain. Ye keh kar bhaiya baithako se to bach jate the, par andar hi andar unki rooh kaap jati thi.

Jaise hi unhe ye pata chala ki computer aur math mein kuch najayaz sambandh hain, bhaiya ghabra gaye. Bhaiya ko laga ab ye danav unki bezaati kara ke hi dum lega. Bhaiya ne isse nipatne ke liye kamar kas li. Bina kisis ko bataye bhaiya dheere dheere isse samajhne lage. Mehnat se to bhaiya kabhi chookte nahi hain, aap to jante hi hain.

Pehle computer, phir programmes. Bahut prayaso ke baad, bhaiya ye samajhne mein safal rahe ki kuch teen cheese hoti hain. Ek dabba rahta hai, wo sab kuch karta hai. Saallon ke adhayan se bhaiya ye jaan paye ki use CPU kehte hain. Aaj bhi kabhi kabhi bhaiya CPU ko UPS keh jaate hain. Phir ek TV hota hai. Usme channel nahi badalte hain. Phir ek mouse hota hai. Ye baat us samay ki hai jab FOX PRO based computing hoti thi.

Ek sach.

Ye “COMPUTING” jaise shabdo ko likhte hue mere haath kaap jate hain. Bhaiya ko aisa kuch bhi pasand nahi hai jo unhe samajh mein naa aaye. Main bhaiya ka bhakt hoo, par aap ki samajh mein cheese aaye, is liye lakshman rekha kabhi kabhi langh bhi jaata hoo.

Wapas.

 Ye sab aaya aur chala gaya. Mano rajesh khanna ka koi fashion ho. Bhaiya ko laga jaan chooti. Phir 96 ke kareeb lankapati ke kuch dost, jo engg ban gaye the, unse mile. Kuch dost videsh vagarah bhi hoke aaye the. Sabhi ke paas bahut kisse the. Sab nayi khabarein bhi laye the. Baatein samajik ho gayi thi. Akhbaar mein chapi khabron par bhi bahas ho rahi thi. Aise mahool mein kisi ne “INTERNET” shabd ka upyog kiya. Pehla to lankapati ke kano mein joo tak nahi rengi. Phir bhaiya ne kisi ke moo se computer aur “INTERNET” dono sun liye. Ab to mano third world war chid gaya ho.  

Thodi der aur apne sehpathiton se is shabd ke bare mein sun ke lankapati ye bhaap gaye, ki ye unke jeevan ki sabse badi jung hogi. Lekin. Apne subhav se majboor Lankapati turant isske aage chaati thok ke samane aa gaye. Us mehfil mein takreeban 100 ya 150 log honge.  Us bhaari hiu mehfil ka koi sadasya aaj tak Lankapati ko bhool nahi paya hai. Apne chit parichit andaaz mein unhone ye aailaan kar diya ki unhe “INTERNET” ke baare mein san 76 mein pata chal chukka tha. Mehfil sab saan gaan reh gaye. Ek aadmi ne unhe correct karne ki chestha ki. Tabhi doosare ne use roka. Pehla wala bola lekin yaar INTERNET to bana hi (90) mein hai. Doosara bola agar LANKAPATI keh rahe hain to sach hi hoga. Baad mein sunte hain log wahaan has rahe the. Aaj bhi Lankapati apne un schooli doston se baat nahi karte.

Sach chahe kuch bhi ho, bhaiya ki baat ko yu katna, mujhe to sahi nahi lagta.

Khair. Ye sab bhaiya ke liye naya thode hi hai.

Ab Computer, UPS, mouse aur INTERNET, sab smajhna tha. Paristhiti gambhir thi. Lankapati apne bhatije ki math ski ek kitab le aaye. Bhatija 5wi mein tha. Unko us kitab ko dekhte hue, unki behan ne toka. “ye kya kar rahe ho”. Lankapati ne apni behan ko tana dete hue kaha, wo apna kaam kare. Jin cheezon ke baare mein use pata nahi hai unmein apni taang naa adaye. Behan choti thi. Wo phir bol padi. Lekin aap ne to school mein bhi kabhi math nahi padhi, itne mein chauke se mataji ki awaaz bhi aa gayi. “arey padha to tumhare bhai ne kabhi kuch nahi”.

Lankapati baukhla gaye. Unhone apni behan se kaha, ek cheese hai Computer aur intsetnet. Usko samajhne ke liye unko maths padhni jaroori hai. Unki behan thahaka maar maar ke hasne lagi. Lankapati ke kato to khoon nahi. Chauke se phir mata ji boli “arey beta jab school mein nahi padh paye to ab kya karoge, tum kuch aisa kaam dhoondho jisme ye computer naa ho. Khana banaane ka course kar lo”.

Lankapati ek aadarsh putrr they. Unhone baad mein HOTEL MANAGEMENT kiya. Par ye kissa phir kabhi.

Lankapati ne maa ko chupp karaya. Phir apni behan ko pakada, wo hassi se kaaran, pet mein ho rahe dard se zameen pe lot rahi thi. Bhaiya ne use jhagjhor ke poocha wo hass kyon rahi hai. Tab behan ne baytaya ki Computer karne ke liye MATH seekhne ki koi zaroorat nahi hai. Aur INTSETNET nahi INTERNET hota hai. Lankapati ko gussa to aaya, aur wo apni behan pe gussaye bhi. Par ye jaan kar ki MATH nahi padhni padegi unko kuch relif bhi mila.

Is nayi jankari ke chalte wo apne mohalle ke paan wale ke yahaan pahuche. Unhone usse kaha ye computer kahaan milega. Wo bola Guddu bhaiya shayad dilli se leke aaye hain. Ab computer ko lekar jo kale baadal unke mashtishiq pe chaaye the wo chatne lage. Sham ko jab chaurahe par Lankapati nayi ladkiyon ka haal chaal aur social work karne pahuche to Guddu bhi wahi tha. Unhone Guddu ko wahi dhar liya. Usko bole chai wai ho jaye. Ye lankapati ka udder vyaqtitiv tha, ki jab bhi kisi pe meherbaan hote the usse hamesha kharcha karne ka mauka milta tha. Guddu bhi prafullit ho utha. Chai aur 16 samose khane ke baad lankapati ne usko bola ki jara computer wagarah unhe bhi karwaye. Guddu bola ki ghar wala to mushkil hai, abhi uski pooja nahi hui hai, aur PAPA naraaz ho jayenge. Par uska ek dost hai jo INTERNET ki dukaan chalata hai. Lankapati ne apni naraazagi zaahir ki, par phir unko laga theek hai.

Somvaar ke shubh din wo ghar se 1.5kg dahi kha ke nikle. Actually dahi ko shubh mante hain. Par unki mataji bahut naraaz thi kyonki wo ghar ka saara dahi kha gaye the. Unka manna tha jitna dahi utna hi shubh fal rahega. Internet ki dukaan par CAFÉ” likha tha. Lankapati bole ye to galat dukaan hai. Ispe angresi mein kuch likha hai. Phir unko samajh mein aa gaya. Wo jhat se bol pade “arey ye to CARE ko galti se CAFÉ” likh gaya hai. Guddu jaldi se andar gaya aur apne dost ko Lankapati ka parichay diya. Us dost ne lankapati ke kisse bahut sune they. Wo khus ho gaya. Lankapati andar aaye to thoda aithe hue the. Guddu ke dost ne darted darte bhaiya se haath milaya. Lanakapati vyavastha ka jayza liya, phir bole bahar jo board lagwaya hai wo galat hai. Guddu ka dost unko batana chahte tha ki wo CAFÉ likha hai, par Guddu ne usko chikoti kaat li. Bhaiya ko gyan dene wale baad mein bhoagte hain.

Guddu ke dost ne Lankapati ko sab bataya, samjhaya. Aise hi kareeb teen mahine tak roz lagataar lankapati wahan jate rahe. Unhone sab seekha. Ek din Lankapati Internet mein “MAIL” karna seekh rahe the. Ab kuch launde unke bhakt bhi hogaye the. Wo bole bhaiya aap ki ID bana de. Lankapati bole kya kar dein. Laundo ne samjhaya ki ID, bhaiya jisse “EMAIL” ho sake. Lankapati bole haan haan bana do. Launde bole bhaiya naam kya rahega. Lankapati bole “kya rahega matlab”. Unko samjhaya gaya ki rajesh@yahoo.com jaisa ID hota hai. Ek baar samajh jaane par Lankapati bole to aisa karo, “Lankapati.kaam” kar do. Bachche abhi bahut masoom they. Wo ghabra gaye. Kuch kareeb 6 aur mahine baad unka ID ban paya.

Aise hi karte karte bhaiya ne bahut kuch seekha. Pehle pehla kuch kathinayi bhi hiu. Jaise jab do se aadhik window khul jaate the to bhaiya turant kisi electrician ko bulane ko bol dete the. Unko lagta tha ki voltage ki gadbaad se ye hota hai. Phir typing apne aap mein ek samsya thi. Aur shortcuts. Oof my god !. kisi ko bhi bhaiya ke saamne shortcut ka istmaal karna saqt mana tha. Jab kuch copy hota tha, to “documents” ke icons idhar se udhar jate dekhLankapati ko bada such milta tha. Wo ghanton un digital panno ko uudte dekhna chahte the.

Ab bhaiya internet seekh gaye. Mail, female, gmail sab. Phir ORKUT aaya. Bhaiya ne kai jatan kiye. Kuch 2 saal lag gaye. Bhaiya laundo se apne purane doston ko dhoodhne ko kehte. Phir unki biwiyon ka photo dekh kar maan hi man khus hote. Par jaise hi bhaiya ORKUT samjhe tab tak FACEBBOK aa gaya.

Mere samjhane ke kareeb 5 mahine baad unka Facebook ID kisi ne bana diya. Shuru shuru mein to bhaiya ne ye keh diya ye sab ek jaisa hi hai. Phir unhone hawa ka rukh samjha. ID to ban hi gaya tha. Ab wo facebook mein darted darte log in karne lage. Yeh baat bhi 2009 ki hai. Tab tak bhi unhe Facebook mein kahaan likha jaata hai, kaun like kar raha hai samajh mein nahi aata tha. Ek to ye chat wali generation bhi tezi se cheese type karti thi. Lankapati ka manna tha ki ARAAM BADI CHEESE HAI. Wo ek line type karne mein kabhi kabhi 3-4 ghante laga dete the. Isi ke chalte wo kabhi chat ke chakkar mein nah pade. Lekin Facebook alag tha, young tha. Unhone hausla nahi hara.

Dheere dheere, LIKE, STATUS, SHARE sab samjha. Aaj 2011 june mein unhone apna pehla “QUOTE” post kiya hai. Halanki yeh kehna mushkil hai ki ye poori line unhone apne kandhe pe utha ke apni wall tak laye, ya isme kisis ne madaat ki. Jo bhi ho. Ye “QUOTE” unhone mujhe dedicate kiya hai. Mere hirday ullas se prafullit ho utha hai. Dil bahut tezi se dhadak raha hai. Mujhe to aisa lag raha hai ki mano Zuckerberg ne ek bar phir Facebook bana diya ho.

Lankapati bhale hi MARK ZUKERBERG ko samudri lutera samajhte ho, par Facebook tak aane ki unki jadojehad hume jeene ki ek nayi aasha dekhati hai. IIshwar se yahi prarthana hai ki manniye LANKAPATI ki kripa drishti hum sabhi par banaye rakhe. Aur haan ab jab aap internet ke vishal samudra mein gote lagayien to aankhein khuli rakhiye ga. After all Lankapati is logging in.  

 

Lankapati Ka JAWAAB

Kisi bade shehar ke ek chote se mohalle mein hawa chalti to hai par lagti nahi hai. Us chote se mohalle ki pechida si gali ke kone ek purani building khadi hai. Purani bulding ke pipe jahan, oopar se neeche aur neeche se oopar paani laa-te, le jate thak gaye the, wahi diwalein kamzor aur paseej gayi thi. Usi building ke 4 malon mein se kuch malon tak jaate jaate seedhian thak jaati hai. Lift abhi wahan pahuchi nahi hai, aur intercom ko koi pehchanta nahi. 

Kuch flaton pe lage taale jung kha gaye hain, aur kuch darwaze akad gaye hain. farsh pe purane pathar ki tutan se cement mila kar kuch naya karne ka prayas kiya gaya hai. Yeh prayas bhi kafi purana hai. Building ki seedhiyon pe aye din galliyan sunai deti hain. lift ke na hone se bechari boodhi seedhiyan bhi thak gayi hain galiyan sunte sunte. 

Is bade shehar ke chote mohalle ki pechida si gali ke kone pe khadi is building ke bagal mein park hai. Aur building ke gaurd ki daadhi se maloom padta hai ki park mein tehelne walon mein se jadatar usi ke same paida hue honge. isi gaurd se hume unka pata chalta hai, maan-niye LANKAPATI ka pata milta hai.

Is pate par lankapati ke saath ek mashoor dactor bhi rehte the, lekin apne marz se pareshaan, aur dil se lachaar unhone rajdhani ka rukh kiya. Is ghatna ne lankapati ko bada aghaat kiya. Sabse badi samsya flat ke rent ko lekar thi. Halanki, paisa lankapati ke liye koi badi baat nahi tha, lekin apne mehnat se arjit dhan ko yun faltu mein ek ghar pe udana unke usoolon ke khilaf tha. Aur fir itne bade (1BHK) ghar mein akele rehna to lankapati ke liye jurm ke barabar tha.

Lankapati sadev hi apne manavta bhare aacharan ke liye jane jate the. Kisi besahara ki madad ko hamesha tatpar. ISI subhav ke chalte unhone turant ek agent ho ek kabil room partner dhoondane ke liye keh diya. saikadon (100) arziyan aayi. Lekin Lankapati ne dekha kisko sabse jayda madad ki zaroorat hai, aur kaun rent bhi share kar sakta hai. Rent itni badi baat nahi thi lekin rent ka time pe milna yeh siddh karta tha ki aanewala lankapati ki madad ki respect karta hai.

Mahino ke adhayan ke baad ek balak unki sabhi kasution pe khara utra. Yeh Balak aage chal kar “Chota R” ke naam se jaana gaya. Waise to umar mein lankapati ka aadha tha, par 26 saal ke is balak ki prathibha aseem thi. Cinema jagat mein naam kamane aya yeh balak, bahut teji se paisa aur glamourous lifestyle chahta tha. Youngester logo ke saath lankapati ko bhi kafi young feel hota tha.

Kuch hi din beetne ke baad mera is balak se sakshatkar hua, iski baki pathibhaon ka vivran to kitabon ke kai volume bhar dega. lekin main jis cheese se sabse jayda chakit tha, ki ismein bhi lankapati wali sabhi visheshtain maujood thi. kuch din baad to aisa lagne laga ki lankapati ka bachpan meri nangi ankhon ke aage khel raha ho.

Waise hi pyar se kisi ki plate se kuch bhi le lena. Kisi ko khata dekh, daud kar kitchen se ek kanta (fork) la kar, khane wale ko ek kutil muskaan dena. kisi kanya ko dekhte hi jag bhool jana, jaise bhagwan ko dekh kar bhakt kho jata ho. SUbah hote hi brekfast lunch aur dinner, sab kii planning kar lena. 

Chota R ki khaane ki teeiivrr ikcha, aur kanyaon aur bitaiyaon ke prati assem bhakti bhav dekh kar lankapati bhi achraj mein the. Usne kuch mokon par to lankapati ki thaali se niwala nikal kar apni pratibha ka saboot diya. aur mahilaon ki vividh prajatiyon mein ruchi le kar mujhe bar bar aashwast kiya. Is balak mein bhi bahut teji se paisa kamane aur glamourous lifestyle ki chaah thi. Kisi bhi waqt kuch bhi aur kitna bhi kha jane ka hausla tha. Pai pai ka hisaab aur Rs.16 se jayda kabhi nahi le kar niklna. Kuch noton ko to itni jor se daath se pakadta ki note fat jaati. Yeh dekh lankapati ne use sahi tareeka bataya.

Sahi mayne mein ye balak lankapati ka utaradhikari banne ke layak tha.

Lankapati ki badhti umar ne unko kuch sust kar diya tha. Kuch sugbhugahat bhi hone lagi thi ki un mein ab woh baat nahi rahi. Lekin main unke sabhi chahne walon ko bata doon ki aur fikr ki zaroorat nahi hai. Doston aap niraash na ho, hume mil gaya hai LANKAPATI KA JAWAAB. 

Guru aur Chela

1 note

jayda sach naa bola karo cheekh nikal jaati hai
Lankapati

mujhe lagta hai sab mujhe halke mein lete hain
Lankapati

ab main apni mummy se kaise kahoo ki maal ladki se shaadi karna chahta hoon
Lankapati

bahut payaari hai bhai

1 note

aao jaldi jawani jee lein
umar nikali jaa rahi hai
Lankapati

1 note

maa chod doonga
diwar poth doonga
aur likh doonga
KRANTI
Lankapati

bhaijee koi aisa tareeka hai ki paise bhi kharch naa hon aur maja bhi aa jaye
Lankapati